I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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