your parents love me but you hate me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
