So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
honey bunches of taint.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
