Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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