but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
