So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
