3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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