smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
