so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
