i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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