Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
