Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Panties = found
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