he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
