Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
