He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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