We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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