Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize