We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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