what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
wow bdsm is so cute
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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