People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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