know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
