hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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