Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
