people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize