i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
