So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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