Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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