she looked like the before picture.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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