Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
