I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize