i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
