Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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