I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
