I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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