Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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