what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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