Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
