her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i now understand why vodka
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
