clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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