adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
