dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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