If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize