i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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