You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
