When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
