whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
