It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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