i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you never un-have a 4some
I would ride that face into the sunset
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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