i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
