I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
