You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't notice because vodka
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
