i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
