I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize