I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
