Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
