I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
