I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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