Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Randomize
