Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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