oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
