She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i love accidental penises.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
