I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
