Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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