Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
