I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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