yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
