I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
