so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
