Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
