she told me i tasted like america
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
