i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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