A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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