He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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