shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
