scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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