When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
did i walk over a car last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
