I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
