Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
